Blocked

I am stuck. I am blocked. I have reached a plateau. I am determined that this is temporary, however. My hope is that this journal will give me forward momentum to move past this current challenge. Maybe along the way, it will also give inspiration to others.

Last summer, I started a weight loss journey. After two pregnancies and many years of not being kind to my body, I made a decision to change that. One step at a time. Journies are made one step at a time, not one giant leap. Small changes in daily habits beget larger, more visible changes. My weight was at a very uncomfortable 204. I was not comfortable in my skin. I had issues with moving, including playing with my kids. It's this lack of motion which is the start of sliding down that slippery slope of obesity. I was to be turning 39 in a couple of months with two young kids and I didn't like where I was.

I started walking. Trying to make healthier food choices. I read a lot on exercise and diet. I was feeling better but it wasn't clicking yet. I signed up for a bootcamp class. I got my ass handed to me every week. I knew that to get the most out of class, I had to show up and put in 100% every time. I did this, built my confidence and my fitness. I started running. In the beginning, I could only run to the end of my road (0.3 miles) before I lost my breath. I joined a gym. I lifted weights. I did yoga once every two weeks. I made progress.

With this committment, I am now a much healthier 178. I am a runner. I love running. It is my therapy. For those of you who say you could never be a runner, I used to think the same thing. I did sports from fifth grade on through college. I hated running. Running was something I did to get by on the team. My longest run to date is 6.6 miles. I am not a fast runner but I'll get there eventually. I'll be training for a 10K this summer. It's my birthday gift since it includes a weekend at the Cape. I attend a Vinyasa yoga class once a week. Yoga balances my running and gives me strength. Strength in mind and my body. I'm capable of doing at least 20 "real" pushups and I have started jumping rope. Jumping rope was an obesession for me in grade school.

With all of these accomplishments, I am stuck. I am stuck at 178. I have lost 26 pounds and down 3 sizes but I have a goal weight. A goal of 146. A goal to lose 32 more pounds. I know I can do this. I will move through this block and reach my goal. Don't get me wrong, it's not just about the number on the scale or smaller clothes. It's about following through, breaking through and showing my kids what a healthy lifestyle looks like. Something is missing. My hope and intention is to use this journal as a tool to find the missing piece or pieces.